New Mums Can’t Dance
Giraffes Can’t Dance is one of my favourite kids books of all time. It’s so inspirational that I made a version about re-finding yourself after having a baby…
Gerri was a first time mum,
her confidence was thin.
Her midriff bore the hallmarks
of the child she'd grown within.
She was very good at rushing round
and wiping hands and faces
But when it came to being herself,
she felt much less than gracious
Now, every second Saturday
The mums go on the lash
And all of human life is there
Looking to make a splash
And this week when the day arrived
Poor Gerri felt so stressed
Because when it came to dancing
She felt far too repressed
The hen night started twerking
And the lads strutted their stuff
The pop divas struck up a pose;
they couldn’t get enough.
The hipsters shuffled in their brogues
with ice cool elegance
And eight geezers sat at the bar,
their pints in reverence.
Gerri turned towards the floor
swallowing up her fear
But the students saw her coming
And they soon began to sneer
“Hey, look at that frumpy cow”
The beautiful things squealed
“New Mums can’t dance, you silly fool,
Oh Mumsy, you’re unreal!”
Gerri was just horrified
She felt like an old crone
“They’re right”, she thought, “I’m past it
Oh, I should have stayed at home”
So she retreated from the dance floor
And she backed off and away.
She’d never felt so bleak and down,
So lost and so dismayed.
She found a clearing at the bar
and gazed at the top shelf.
Perhaps some of those might help
she whispered to herself.
“Excuse me,” coughed the barman,
who'd seen Gerri’s discontent
“But sometimes when you’re nervous
You just need a compliment”
“Listen to your friends and kin
And listen to your babes
You’re wonderful, you rock their world
with the love you give in spades”
“So imagine that your kids can see
The bravery you laud
And have a sip of this great gin
You’ll soon feel less a fraud”
With that the barman smiled
And filled up the tumbler high
Then Gerri felt her spirits
Reach right up into the sky.
Her groove, it started humming
Thumping right out from her heart
Her confidence was lifted
And her shame was ripped apart.
She flicked her hair behind her
And she twirled upon her heels,
Then she curled her hips from side to side
And laughed in rips and peels
Gerri felt so wonderful
Her heart was full to burst
“I am dancing, and I just don’t care!”
My fear is all dispersed!”
Then one by one, each dancer
Who’d watched her earlier on
Arrived to see the spectacle
Of this restored young mum.
They shouted. “It’s remarkable
We must be seeing double
Gerri’s so spectacular
We’re sorry we caused trouble!”
“We realise now that there’s no need
To judge and sneer and gripe
Gerri’s made the vibe shine bright.
She smashed a stereotype.”
Gerri cast her gaze around,
She really was a hit
“We can all dance,” she laughed with glee
“When we stop giving a shit.”